Sox Trade Riske For LOOGY

It's true. Theo just traded David Riske for a giant ball of phlegm. Oh wait, no, that was an internet hoax. He traded Riske for Left-handed One-Out Guy Javier Lopez (MLB splits here).

There is some speculation that this is a knee-jerk reaction to The New and Improved Anti-Christ and Manny "Still Un-nicknamed" Delcarmen giving up grand slams to lefties in back-to-back games. There is some other speculation that they've been looking for a deal on a LOOGY for some time, and had been waiting for a reasonable deal to come along. It doesn't really matter. Riske has pitched about 9 innings this year, and it seemed like Tito didn't have much confidence in him. On the other hand, Tito seems to like same-same matchups late in the game, as we saw with unkillable psychopathic turncoat Mike Myers last year and the year before.

Despite rather unimpressive career numbers (although the lefty splits are fine) Vasquez is pitching quite well in AAA so far this year for the Charlotte Knights, with an ERA of 0.55, and 26 Ks to 6 BBs in 33 innings. Plus, just one dinger. At age 29 has he figured something out? Maybe, let's hope so, who's to say? I'm betting we'll find out soon enough as he appears to be arriving with the big club in Minnesota today.

My favorite thing about this trade thus far is that Baseball-Reference.com has listed as one of his (Vasquez's) historically similar pitchers 1950s beanpole Bunky Stewart. As if it weren't bad enough that he went by "Bunky" the guy was 6'0", 155 lbs! Apparently his career was cut short when a comebacker to the mound shattered his body into 17 pieces.

That's all the news for today, no new signings that I've seen. I did find out that Zach Daeges was an accounting major at Creighton and graduated with a 3.31 GPA, so it seems my assessment of him as too serious to mock was correct. Unfortunately for Zach, accounting majors are too freakish NOT to mock, so we are at a standoff that will probably end up leaning towards mock.

I would also like to plug the new forum at http://www.redsoxstatsguy.com (very good site). It's new and doesn't have a messageboard gestapo in place yet, so if you haven't been sharing in the online chatter due to fear of a beatdown by some loser, check this new forum out. Our beatdowns will be gentle and caring.